A Write Confession

(Photo credit to: dryhead, on Flickr)

I have a confession.

I am terrified.

I am terrified of failing. Not just a little, horribly….

That is why I have not submitted my 1st draft of “A Victorian Tale” into the foray of publishers or agents yet.

Now let’s be fair a first draft is hardly prepared enough to enter that underworld of crazy rejections and spontaneous successes.

I give myself credit in knowing that it’s not ready yet, but that is also an excuse.

I’ve been holding back from editing it.

I edited perhaps the first 3 chapters, but then after NANOWRIMO hit it was put on the back burner. Then for health reasons, going back and forth between a computer screen and a typed out/edited manuscript was torture. So I took a break, a long break.
The guilt of keeping it frozen in its toddler stage haunts me.

It has so much potential I can feel it and yet I have it stuck.

Part of me, I suppose, is terrified for another reason.

You see, “The Land of Fear” was the first time I truly allowed the darkness out as a writer. My previous writings had hints, but not the whole shebang.

I had held myself back a couple of times in “The Victorian Tale” and although it filtered through sometimes I think I held back the novel as well.

If I edit it this time, I know I will not be able to hold back and that terrifies me.

I am scared of what non-writer friends might think, and yet at the same time I know it will feel like a weight off my soul if I do do it.

All and all my resolution is not to allow any of the above to hold me back anymore, I miss my toddler and I’m going to go back and nurture it to grow once more.

Moral of this tale: If you have a fear that is holding you back, confront it, battle it and defeat it; so that you can move forward and grow. 

Do you have writerly fears, as well? If so what helps you combat them?