I have a confession.
I am terrified.
I am terrified of failing. Not just a little, horribly….
That is why I have not submitted my 1st draft of “A Victorian Tale” into the foray of publishers or agents yet.
Now let’s be fair a first draft is hardly prepared enough to enter that underworld of crazy rejections and spontaneous successes.
I give myself credit in knowing that it’s not ready yet, but that is also an excuse.
I’ve been holding back from editing it.
I edited perhaps the first 3 chapters, but then after NANOWRIMO hit it was put on the back burner. Then for health reasons, going back and forth between a computer screen and a typed out/edited manuscript was torture. So I took a break, a long break.
The guilt of keeping it frozen in its toddler stage haunts me.
It has so much potential I can feel it and yet I have it stuck.
Part of me, I suppose, is terrified for another reason.
You see, “The Land of Fear” was the first time I truly allowed the darkness out as a writer. My previous writings had hints, but not the whole shebang.
I had held myself back a couple of times in “The Victorian Tale” and although it filtered through sometimes I think I held back the novel as well.
If I edit it this time, I know I will not be able to hold back and that terrifies me.
Do you have writerly fears, as well? If so what helps you combat them?